Catharsis

So I've lived through 6 leap years. I didn't notice my first, because I was 2, but there was another one when I was 6 (first grade - might have noticed that), 10 (that would have been fifth grade, I should have noticed that one), 14 (9th grade, can kind of remember what a normal day in 9th grade was like), 18 (freshman year in college, that was a weird time), 22 (brain injury recovery, hooray), and now 26 and this is the first time I've heard of this idiotic shit about women "being able" to propose marriage ONLY on Leap Day.

I guess this is also where all that Sadie Hawkins crap comes from too. Apparently, in the 5th century, women had a similar problem with the idiotic gender rules. Some saint or whatever raised a legitimate complaint that women were sick and tired of not being able to figure out when and where men would ask them for marriage. They were completely at the mercy of some idiot's whim. Annoying today, annoying then. So, when St. Patrick heard the complaint, he insulted women by saying that yeah, they could take control of their own destiny and ask about marriage, but only 0.06% of the time, ie, on Leap Day. Fuck you, St. Patrick, you can kiss my entire ass and all of the asses of all of the women that ever existed since your time. due to the patriarchical bullshit you promoted just so that men could feel special by controlling other people's bodies. We can never go back to this bullshit.

Not White does not mean Not Misogynist

Not a very profound insight, I know, but sometimes, I forget. I forget that non-white guys are not necessarily less misogynistic than their white peers. They might be, because they are more likely to have faced discrimination, but that isn't a given that they'll be able to relate that to sexism. Some may even be using their race as a cover for their misogynism, thats what I'm starting to see.

The stories about guys have been played out

So many main characters, even if bumbling idiots, are there because they are supposed to be the one the audience relates to. If those characters are never female (and they rarely are, or those that are are so perfect as to be impossible), we never really relate to a female character. We get the feeling that the female is "the other" or abnormal, even if we are female. Regardless of the portrayal, if the main characters are always male, rather than just half of the time, then the media will remain sexist.

And from now on, when a new clever movie comes out starring a guy, I will consider it cliched. If writers really want to be creative, they need to start writing about women in a recognizable, flawed way, i.e. the way we really are.

Lets hope this continues into the future

Boys Treat Girls Like People: Thanks to Feminism

Thanks, Government

On Monday, I read "The Fear Factory" in Rolling Stone. From what I understood, the government is letting arrested salespeople from the black-market narcotic industry feed the ideas of disaffected young people that have vague affections for Islam and dislike for the US. Ordinarily, these people wouldn't have the means to do anything. One was practically homeless. But the "agent" comes in and befriends them. He feeds their ideas and suddenly, homeless men have a laptop and Google Earth. Later, this friend has "a connection" for some grenades to throw at the place that they cased together, with the agent's car. Then bang, the bust happens, and all the idiots in the media tell us that yay, another terrorist plot foiled. Because we really do not want some crazy throwing a grenade in a mall and killing a dozen or more people.

And meanwhile, in the same damn state, a real terrorist does just that, but with a gun, not a grenade, and we had no idea it where it came from.

Thanks for arresting drug dealers and putting them to work to keep me safe, I bet those dead people at NIU really appreciate all your work.

I'm totally on Facebook!

What should I do now?

Sal on Facebook

Imagine

Imagine if we made jokes about being speculumed as much as men make jokes about the "turn your head and cough" thing, or whatever the hell it was.

What kind of jokes can we make about women's unique experience at the doctor? Because men get to make those jokes, so I want to make them about my experience too.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

No matter how you interpret this song, it is about an abusive relations. "Tell me how you want it to be", abusive.

Blog for Choice Day!

................... phew - sometimes it is nice to live on the late edge of the world. I don't follow 'the blogophere' - I read Alternet and skim their blog section daily, but I just don't frequent a lot of blogs.

When I was a freshman, I saw a poster for a group called 'Size Oppression Support' and I just had to go. I theorized yelling at skinny women complaining about being small, but as it happened, there was only one other person there, and we really bonded over our mutual size issues. But she was Christian and I was agnostic. In 2000, after the election, she revealed that she voted for Bush because of his stance on abortion. It didn't matter to me though, because Gore won Minnesota.

College continued on and some time in our senior year, the issue of abortion came up again. This time, she defined her opinion as 'personally pro-life, but pro-choice for everyone else,' and wasn't about to support Bush's re-election bid. I was really proud of her.

Why is there no prostate cancer movement?

For over a year now, my dad has been a one man army, educating other rural men in central Wisconsin about prostate cancer. When I was home for Christmas, my mother told me that both she and my father wonder why there is such a campaign against breast cancer but no such campaign for men. Both cancers have deeply touched his family. His mom had a single mastectomy and three of his sisters had double mastectomies, all due to breast cancer. As I explained in this post, my grandfather on that side also had prostate cancer that went unchecked and spread to his testicles.

The breast cancer movement is so big because more women die from breast cancer than men die from prostate cancer, but it is a little odd that there is almost no grassroots prostate cancer movement at all.

At first, I didn't know why there was no prostate cancer movement. After a little bit of thinking, though, it hit me. The breast cancer movement works well because women identify with the victims of breast cancer and realize that it could be them next. Men have been trained not to identify with victims because men are not supposed to be victims.

Thankfully, my dad grew up in the closest thing to a matriarchal family one might be able to have in our patriarchal society. Not only did he have 9 sisters, but his mother was the dominant parent in the house. His father was there, of course, he just wasn't as talkative or as visible a presence next to my grandmother. Because of that, my dad doesn't have a lot of the stupid perceptions that a lot of American [rural, white, christian] men have. I was 20 years old before I ever thought that my dad might have wanted a son and it doesn't seem to phase my dad that my mother is more educated and makes more money than he does.

So, obviously, when my dad got prostate cancer and learned that a lot of old men like himself were in the dark about their own health, he started talking.

Black Men vs. White Women, part 1

A while ago, I saw a comment on an Alternet piece about sexism that stated that racism was more important than sexism. I think it went even further and said something like "how dare you compare the experience of being a black man to being a woman, its much harder to be a black man." and "racism is more of a problem because it affects men AND women."

Needless to say, it pissed me off. It sounded like the guy felt like he was being degraded by being compared to a woman.

But as a white person, its hard for me to argue about racism. But men of any race obviously see no problem in arguing with me about sexism.

Yesterday, there was yet another "I have it harder" comment on an article about sexism by a black man. Today, I had to take a break for an hour and write out all the thoughts that had been fermenting in my brain all day. I'll type that up later, and possibly in a different location because I think it is that good.

But could you imagine a comment on an article about racism that said "how dare you compare women to stupid black people"? No, of course not, because sexism is more entrenched in society than racism. They are not the same thing but they intersect. Sometimes, it strikes me that misogynists use racism as a cover for their terrible mindset.

Money where my mouth is, part 2

Dunkin' Donuts has an ad with people singing a song that goes "Doin' things is what I like to do." It is about "everyday people" in their normal lives who go to Dunkin' Donuts regularly. I noticed that it had a large ratio of men to women, so I counted. There are a few women in the background, but only one woman participates in the singing.

Maybe only two women's faces appear in the ad. So I contacted Dunkin Donuts and asked them about it. I asked if they only intend to market to men, because if that is the case, I'd like to know so I don't bother to buy from a store that doesn't want my money.

Never say Never

A ridiculous caper movie. Three people that work shredding old money decide to take a little of their own. Ridiculousness ensues. Starring Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes. I'm annoyed that the IMDB page plot synopsis says "Three female Federal Reserve Employees..." because I know if they weren't female, the line would read "Three Federal Reserve Employees," because, as we all know, being female is an aberration from the norm.

That aside, thank GOD we have some female protagonists. I swear, if I have to sit though another penis party of previews again, I'll stab someone, ugh.

Why I like them

In the article "20 Annoying Things about 2007," Stephen Pizzo declares that he is sick of "TV ads with American Indians telling me that their casinos are making life better for everyone, not just the ten members of their tribe." Well, I disagree, and I want to explain why.

I think I saw that same ad and I liked it, a lot. Not because I have any "white guilt," but because it is good news for the American Indian community. I'm not Native American - I didn't even meet any Native Americans until I got to college. But I've studied and give a shit about American Indian communities. Furthermore, I know that the American Indian Movement/Fight/Life/Experience is not mine. My role is to listen, understand, and support. Using anything, even casinos, to fund education and development by, for, and of American Indians is good news, period.

In a broader sense, it gives me hope for society. Maybe the improvements there will influence the rest of us, but mostly, it reminds me that some societies, somewhere, are doing something right. Hope is not lost, things can get better. That's what I feel when I see those ads, even if they are ripping us off in casinos. I know, and we all have to realize that American Indians see casinos as a means to more. More development, leading to a real thriving economy.

Also, I hardly expect American Indians to give a damn about white people. Centuries of manipulation, discrimination, and depopulation are hardly forgotten in less than a generation, especially when white people are still so ignorant of American Indians. I am encouraged when I hear Native Americans on radio and tv ads in Wisconsin tell everyone about the possibility and danger of gambling addiction. It means they give a shit, and I feel really good to hear that.