What would the world be like, how would people interact in a feminist society? I don't have time to detail a fantasy right now, but here are some themes:
Now that men are using shower gel, they suddenly think of body wash and shampoo together? Why not sooner? You can't tell me the science only came up with that just now.
You could tell me that companies thought that women had time to fuck around with several bottles in the shower at the gym or when traveling though. That I would totally believe.
I know with my job, work-out, and social schedule, I have ALL time in the world to use two, three, maybe even four different products in the shower. Not to mention all the time I spend trying on pants to see if I should buy the "tall" or the "average", because its much more difficult to just make women's sizes in actual measurements. They do it for men, but women prefer to learn a whole other language because we've got all the time in the world!
Parents provide a dowry to go along with their daughter when she marries a man.
Women enter a marriage with assets of their own.
A large dowry can help a new couple buy a house, start a farm [i.e. make money of their own], or simply live comfortably.
The real problem is that the woman is not an agent in acquiring the dowry. She is probably active in reaping the benefits, but that is never mentioned. Unfortunately, in the past, she has not been able to profess ownership of the income either. However women without a dowry were just as likely to marry as a man without means to an income.
Some dancing is stimulated sex, some more than other. It is always disturbing to see men to whom I am not attracted, but do find attractive, doing that. Ok, never mind, it seems weird to see that at all.
Written back in December
Ever since I re-took Intro to Women's Studies and learned that the effect of malnutrition on humans includes almost all of the things women are stereotypically accused of (indecisiveness, moodiness, inability to concentrate), I've been cognizant of dieting. Not my dieting, I do need to diet as I am significantly overweight. I did notice that when I was dieting (August-November, 2005), I was lacking concentration. I decided to take some time off from dieting in December (when I got to the lowest weight of my adult life, if only for a week) because I knew I needed my full brain power for finals.
No, I am more attentive and concerned about the dieting of women who are about half my size. It really, really bothers me to see the 24 year-old woman in my office having slimfast for breakfast. Sure, it has nutrients, and is probably a lot healthier than the biscotti I had (though probably not as good as the vegetable egg white omelet I was planning to have before I realized I left all of my money at home), but it means that she is trying to deprive her body and brain of calories. Calories she doesn't need to worry about.
Written back in December
At the end of The Ladies Man, Leon Phelps is confronted by the boyfriends and husbands of women that slept with him. There are actually also, apparently, a few brothers and sons of women who chose to have sex with Leon Phelps. The men encircle Leon and declare that he "stole their manhood" by having sex with these women. Leon correctly points out that the reason he had sex with these women was because they wanted to, mostly because their own partners were unfulfilling in some way. One man, the one with a gun, realizes that Leon didn't seduce his wife at all, but instead, he "was the problem," indicating that he was doing something to make his wife turn to other sexual partners. It is a tenuous lesson, the women aren't out and out identified as the agents in the situation, and the men go from blaming Leon to blaming themselves. Thats all well and good if the man's behavior is the source of the problem. But its possible that the man is doing everything right - listening, respecting, being an equal partner, etc... - and the woman in the relationship just really wanted to have sex with Leon Phelps anyway.
The film borders on feminism and is a cute little story. It doesn't, however, venture far into feminist ideology and seems to flirt with maintaining the idea that men are only men if they "have a woman." Of course, it also clearly indicates that monogamy and starting a family can be healthy, fulfilling things. But no one ever expressly negates the idea that Leon having sex with a man's wife is tantamount to castrating that man. There are plenty of movies that involve fights between two men because one woman decided to have sex, kiss, flirt, or otherwise express affection for both of them. Sometimes, the woman in question might not even like one of the guys, but the men have this notion that the only way they can "have" this woman is to beat up some guy. In this animalistic ritual, the woman's concious choice doesn't have an effect. Sure, women fight over men too, but they don't seem to be concerned about losing a core part of their identity because their male partner cheated on them. You'd never hear a woman fighting another woman claiming "you stole my womanhood!" But for men, being unable to "keep" a woman from having relationships with other men (whether sexual or not, depending on the culture OR the man) is apparently a key element of "being a man."
It is actually pretty pathetic. Rather, it is awfully pathetic. I know humans are just animals, but we have conciousness, which allows us to control these base urges and moderate them. Unfortunately for many women, the men of many cultures around the world have codified the ownership of women. Many of them feel as if they have the right to torture and mutilate women. Why? Some deep seated insecurity, for sure. Sometimes, I'd like to find those men and beat the shit out of them with anything I can find. Lucky for them, there numbers are too vast and I have too much of a sense of self-preservation to comit a crime similar to theirs.
I guess this isn't a new theory, the problem is that the phenomenon isn't going away. Granted, its only been a generation and the generation of Americans raised after the second wave of feminism is really only in its 20s, no where near being part of "the establishment." I go back and forth between frustration about change not happening right now and taking the big picture view of lasting change, over time. We can't be discouraged every time feminism doesn't prevail, but that doesn't give much solace to the woman hiding from an abusive man, or the woman with no face anymore, or the woman abandoned by her family after a vicious gang rape. Their reality cannot be debated, and anyone that can justify their reality does not deserve life. If manhood means owning a woman, it is a stupid concept.
After being at work for 11 hours, but only able to bill about 5 or 6 to actual projects (due to budget issues), despite the work I put in, I see the Colbert Report about a guy giving away free breast implants. Does he think he's gonna get to fuck these women after the implants? I certainly hope no one fucks him. With all the people dying from not being able to afford life-saving surgery, he's giving out boobs, because really, thats all that matters.
So I've lived through 6 leap years. I didn't notice my first, because I was 2, but there was another one when I was 6 (first grade - might have noticed that), 10 (that would have been fifth grade, I should have noticed that one), 14 (9th grade, can kind of remember what a normal day in 9th grade was like), 18 (freshman year in college, that was a weird time), 22 (brain injury recovery, hooray), and now 26 and this is the first time I've heard of this idiotic shit about women "being able" to propose marriage ONLY on Leap Day.
I guess this is also where all that Sadie Hawkins crap comes from too. Apparently, in the 5th century, women had a similar problem with the idiotic gender rules. Some saint or whatever raised a legitimate complaint that women were sick and tired of not being able to figure out when and where men would ask them for marriage. They were completely at the mercy of some idiot's whim. Annoying today, annoying then. So, when St. Patrick heard the complaint, he insulted women by saying that yeah, they could take control of their own destiny and ask about marriage, but only 0.06% of the time, ie, on Leap Day. Fuck you, St. Patrick, you can kiss my entire ass and all of the asses of all of the women that ever existed since your time. due to the patriarchical bullshit you promoted just so that men could feel special by controlling other people's bodies. We can never go back to this bullshit.
Not a very profound insight, I know, but sometimes, I forget. I forget that non-white guys are not necessarily less misogynistic than their white peers. They might be, because they are more likely to have faced discrimination, but that isn't a given that they'll be able to relate that to sexism. Some may even be using their race as a cover for their misogynism, thats what I'm starting to see.
So many main characters, even if bumbling idiots, are there because they are supposed to be the one the audience relates to. If those characters are never female (and they rarely are, or those that are are so perfect as to be impossible), we never really relate to a female character. We get the feeling that the female is "the other" or abnormal, even if we are female. Regardless of the portrayal, if the main characters are always male, rather than just half of the time, then the media will remain sexist.
And from now on, when a new clever movie comes out starring a guy, I will consider it cliched. If writers really want to be creative, they need to start writing about women in a recognizable, flawed way, i.e. the way we really are.
On Monday, I read "The Fear Factory" in Rolling Stone. From what I understood, the government is letting arrested salespeople from the black-market narcotic industry feed the ideas of disaffected young people that have vague affections for Islam and dislike for the US. Ordinarily, these people wouldn't have the means to do anything. One was practically homeless. But the "agent" comes in and befriends them. He feeds their ideas and suddenly, homeless men have a laptop and Google Earth. Later, this friend has "a connection" for some grenades to throw at the place that they cased together, with the agent's car. Then bang, the bust happens, and all the idiots in the media tell us that yay, another terrorist plot foiled. Because we really do not want some crazy throwing a grenade in a mall and killing a dozen or more people.
And meanwhile, in the same damn state, a real terrorist does just that, but with a gun, not a grenade, and we had no idea it where it came from.
Thanks for arresting drug dealers and putting them to work to keep me safe, I bet those dead people at NIU really appreciate all your work.
Imagine if we made jokes about being speculumed as much as men make jokes about the "turn your head and cough" thing, or whatever the hell it was.
What kind of jokes can we make about women's unique experience at the doctor? Because men get to make those jokes, so I want to make them about my experience too.
