My Cousins and The Babies

A few years ago, my cousin, J[1], had a baby. No one in the family knows who the father of J[1]'s baby is, mainly because J[1] doesn't want to talk about it. As far as I can tell, everyone seems to be fine with that. She probably knows, and has the information about his family history in case there are medical problems, but we're all more focused on her son, D.

Well, J[1] and D inspired another cousin, A[2], to have a baby of her own. In her case, she was married to I[W], and we all know who the father is. Well, I[W] was finishing a PhD in English, but was unable to find a job as a professor. My cousin had the baby, but realized that it would be a better idea if her husband was bringing in the income so she could stay home with the infant, as opposed to the other way around. After all, she would be the one breastfeeding, and she didn't want to switch to formula. So, according to my parents, my cousin told her husband to get a job. Now, I[W] may just be feeling stifled by that job right now, but my dad thinks that he isn't exactly ready for the responsibility of having this kid.

So many anti-feminists decry feminists who do defend the "traditional" value of the mother staying home with the baby. The problem with that logic is the lack of logic. A real feminist is a logical person, and realizes that not all traditional values are necessarily bad. Infants do need constant care, and breastfeeding is best. Logically, that would mean new mothers would do best to take time off, especially during the first few years, to care for their children. But after breastfeeding is done, the gender of the parents to stay with a child - at least until they enter school - is irrelavent. In that situation, mommy could stay with the baby until then, then the partners would switch roles, and daddy could stay home.

But that gets to the real problem with staying out of the externally defined workforce - explaining the gap on the resume. But I postulate that wo/men should include infant care on their resume. It might not bring in any money, but it is work, and it demonstrates a lot of responsibility. As someone that has hired at least 7 people in the past nine months, I have to say that I would be impressed with a resume that listed taking care of an infant as part of work experience - for any job. I will go so far as to say that the only people that would not be impressed are complete idiots.